Dear Dad 12 things I hate about you

I can't believe the things you've done, the things you used to say.
1 I hate that you chose alcohol and then you went away.
2 I hate that I was scared of you. You scare me to this day.
3 I hate that you broke mom's arm and tried to kill us all.
4 I hate that you never paid for your crimes. You have a lot of gall.
5 I hate that when I look into the mirror I see your eyes.
6 I hate the wasted effort to please you, all the useless tries.
7 I hate that you pawned my things so you could have your fun.
8 I hate the memory of your shots at me that caused me to fear a gun.
9 I hate that you messed up right from wrong for me in my youth.
10 I hate that there are so many of me out there trying to see that truth.
11 I hate that I have to fight this legacy each day.
12 I hate that it was better for you to leave instead of stay.
I've walked a thousand extra miles to all the others' steps.
My pillow is my witness for all the nights I've wept.